The true story of the Feminine

I am writing this from our campervan on the way down to one of my jewelsisters in southern Sweden as the last thing I do before I check out for some lush weeks of Summer.

This spring has been a whirlwind. As the paradigm shift accelerates, the intensity in the world is rising — and so too is the call of the feminine.

I have spent a lot of my time since January on doing research for and writing my book on Lifeforce Leadership. I am now 90 000 words in and about 80% done with the first draft. It is such a deep ride - the book is writing me as much as I am writing it.

I am attempting to tell the story of the Feminine and Feminine leadership in a way that can help us navigate the current paradigm shift in the most constructive and life-affirming way. It is as challenging as it is fascinating.

There are so many competing narratives about the Feminine right now. There is everything from the many women in the feminine awakening space who overly romanticize the past with stories of how "it was so much better before patriarchy," without recognizing that most of these matriarchal tribal societies were quite brutal—operating almost like beehives where many males were sacrificed for the collective, complete with human blood sacrifice rituals.

Then there’s the narratives from technocratic men who believe the world can be measured and calculated, completely missing the value and necessity of feminine wisdom in creating truly thriving systems—busy building a data and algorithm Skinner's box world that can lead to nothing but an inhumane and authoritarian society.

There is also the relentless pendulum swing of modern feminism and “anti-feminism” we’ve witnessed over the past century: women stepping into masculine energy, followed by a backlash that reduces the feminine to narrow ideals of the “good mother” or the “ideal woman.” From the "Yes we can" era after the world wars, to the domestic ideal of the 1950s housewife; from the boss girl phenomenon of the 90s, to today's backlash into the soft girl aesthetic. Neither adopting masculine energy nor shrinking into a limited, curated version of the feminine is a true expression of her full power.

What I'm trying to do is write a history that looks honestly at both the Masculine and the Feminine, where we have come from and where we are going. I'm trying to get clear on what appears to be biologically encoded through thousands of years of evolution and what has been shaped by the paradigms within which our behaviors and societies have formed. What aspects of the feminine have been suppressed and need reclaiming, and what new evolutions of feminine leadership we need to embody now—based on the evolution of consciousness our species has achieved.

The internet age is fundamentally questioning much of the Enlightenment thinking our western world has been built upon—an enlightenment that systematically demolished feminine wisdom and power through organized religion and industrial society. The internet age is like a lush, deep, seductive call for the return of the feminine that can call in a more mature and evolved masculine.

It is true that lost feminine wisdom and power needs to be reclaimed, but it is also true that this wisdom and power simultaneously needs to evolve to match where we are now as a species. We have the opportunity to move from the childlike relationship to the Great Mother that characterized the magical worldview and blood sacrifice matriarchies of the tribal nomadic age, into what is now possible: an adult relationship to the feminine with full agency and full devotion. This evolution—this possibility of stepping into mature feminine wisdom and power—deeply and divinely excites me.

I approach this work with deep humility — but I honestly can’t imagine anything more worthwhile to dedicate my time to. With the threat of nuclear weapons, declining birth rates in the West, and the climate crisis, it feels clear to me: if we don’t find our way back into right relationship between the feminine and the masculine — I believe we’re finished as a species.

But when we do get the relationship right — holy fuck. I recently hosted a polarity exploration with six women who have spent the past 5–8 years powerfully reclaiming their feminine, and four men standing strong in their grounded masculine leadership. Together, we explored what happens when feminine and masculine leadership meet in exquisite creative tension in a work/collaboration context. The field we built between us was so alive. Witnessing what becomes possible when we truly dare to lean in fills me with a deep hope for the future we are capable of building.